Contentment

I want to argue something that might intially sound confusing. However, I will promise my hardest to explain the hypothetical dichotomy i am processing. Paul says in philippians 4:11, "for I have learned to be content." This is something i truly do struggle with. This idea of contentment seems to be something that i have not got a grip on.

I believe that this idea of contentment is something where you cannot believe that a particular circumstance will give you content. This is something Paul adds to the quote... "in all circumstances." Therefore we must have a foundational piece implemented in our lives to find this truly satisfying contentment. This foundational piece is our epistemology of Christ, and how he can be the only thing we depend on to find satisfaction.

I feel like this is something hard to grasp. Jesus should be the only person we depend on to find satisfaction. Call me hedonistic, but this world seems to offer many possibilities of how to find enjoyment. However, I do not think this is the right rebuttal, to refer to certain temporal objects, but to go further than that.

God created us in his image, and through that we find ourselves to be relational. This is part of the image of God, or what is called in the latin, imago dei. This then enables ourselves to explain some of similarities between humans and God. He lives in a relational community and God made us to be relational creatures. Now, getting back to my point, is how can I (or you) become content in the relational community God provides us?

This seems to be the epitome of where I find struggle and hardship. This meaning that I want contentment in the relational community where I am currently living in. There have been a couple handfuls of people I have truly had a blessing meeting for a small amount of time. I just then ponder, how do these relationships fit into the puzzle pieces of life. How much will that person be a part of my life?

The kicker to the dichotomy is that contentment is important, and we are relational beings, but how do we be content and not have regrets?

I believe I need to be aware of how God has provided me with a solid community, a group of guys willing to keep me accountable, mentors, and those who have great composure during my hard times. I want to find joy as I get the blessing of having individuals who are only "passer-byers." Those individuals who though it feels like you've known them forever, and share wisdom, and impact your life. That they may be people who God can help me be comfortable with walking onto a different area of life where I might not have so much contact.

This is truly a hard practical learning. But I know that this is probably not as much as a dichotomy, as it something that God is teaching me in my relational development.

Sitting on a fence

There are times where life feels like a crossroad. A point where there are many different options to pick from. This point in life can be quite a stumbling block. Even better, it is a point where its stressful to have the point, as well as stressful in making a decision. Those might sound synonymous however the truth is that finding peace and comfort in the decision is twice as difficult.

I have had many important crossroads in my life. For example, the decision that i had to make about staying in England or moving to the states when i was only 13. There was many different factors to consider, as well as it being stressful because God had clearly told me that i needed to make this decision.

I am continously curious behind meaning and purpose of everything in life. I even find myself contemplating the purpose behind simple things such as the timing of incidents. It can be quite a daydreaming consumption, lol! I have come to realize that God has given me the gift of thinking. You could reframe that gift, by just explaining that much of my personality is run through a motor of speaking through my thoughts. Thus, why i appreciate the aspect of blogging.

Therefore, as I find peace in this season of graduate school, i consider the many crossroads ahead. I pray that my decisions will be based on many important factors, not just the existential side of decisions. I find that many errors at times of decisions in my life are because emotions decided to override the decision-making process.

I hope that decisions that will make me a better person will be the ones where i have truly succeeded. It can always be discouraging when looking back you know you made a detrimental mistake. But I hope as i am maturing (through the lord's eyes) I will become a better person, maybe a pro at these crossroads. Crossroads can be difficult to evaluate, but with a guided spirit, a great sense of accountable community. These crossroads might start to get easier.

A Walmart Shopping Cart

Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation and had the urge to take a walk?

You are sitting contemplating how so many things are distracting you. You want to focus your attention on your friend's interaction. I was honored to have a close friend talk about many different subjects. This time was full of sharing pain, joy, confusion, and love which brough insight and wisdom.

So I bluntly asked... "Can we could go grab some items and Walmart?" and she responded "Yes!" This gave me the chance to walk, think, and continue to share our stories of recent events. I was astounded by how much care, compassion, and truth was offer in a such a small amount of time.

God has been working on my attitude of living in Arkansas. I continue to wrestle God so much about every opportunity provided here for me, and find moments where it seems that we have different agendas. However, my community around me has started to become more detailed and consistent. This has enabled me to let my guard down and allowed myself to connect more with those who are involved in the workings of my life.

Therefore I want to just say that God does not stop working on our lives. He will work on our lives until we hit the grave. This is hard to come to grasp because I think that I have worked on many difficult things in the past, and want God to so desperately give me the green light. However, he has work to be done, and that work is through me on various facets of my faith. This sounds big, but in the moment it truly is small.

Those moments have been small, but extremely difficult to understand what God is trying to teach me. I am growing in awareness of things that are not where God wants them to be. In addition, I continue to find myself using my own strength to get through these moments and God has open hands waiting like a sweet gentlemen to move these mountains in my life.

When that shift happens it is something so experientially rewarding. I cannot fathom the weight that has been lifted when I realize that Jesus is enough! He truly has the ability to reward me when he gives me an opportunity to conserve my energy for other important tasks than waisting them on frivolous anxieties. It has a residual effect. Basically this moment encourages God to figure out what needs to change, and allow me to focus on other opportunities that will bring me closer to him. This is satisfying and good for the soul.

I was reminded that my identity is found in God, nothing else!

Seriously I am his Child, and through that relationship I find peace and nothing else!

Furthermore, I am able to rest in his peace, and get to continue my rewarding relationship with Christ.