The End of 2010

Wow! The year is coming to an end and so much has happened this year.

I found this neat little component on Facebook, which takes all your statuses and put them together. There were some interesting ones from quotes of people who had affected me, to a status about a dear friend who was in the hospital, to me talking about how much i missed Raspberry Lemonade at Cheddars in Joplin, MO.

My life has never been boring, and probably will never be boring. It has been such a rollercoaster of ups and downs that reflecting back on the year is quite exhausting. However, I am still standing, and I have God to thank for that!

I said to him out loud in my apartment today, "I know you are here. I appreciate, you, Spirit, for being there watching me, making sure I am okay, and not running off to do foolish things." It is the spirit who has been there to bandage my spiritual wounds. It is the Spirit who has shouted loud when temptation has stood at the door. It is the Spirit who sends his guardian angels to guard my windows, doors, and protect my car. I might be a poor grad student who lives by himself, but I have the Holy Spirit.

I am currently concerned about my academic success, and have two assignments left to complete. I am in so much desperation that these papers would not jeopardize my ability to go to grad school next year. I was given a purpose 10 years ago to come to America, to be used by Christ. This season has caused me much sorrow, apathy, and pain especially in academics. But even though I have failed a lot this season, I still hear the small voice. The voice of the Shepherd who calls my name, and calls me back to the flock! The shepherd calls me back to the purpose of being in America. I have a purpose to minister to the lives around me, and I can’t get lost in the swirling vortex of sin. I must press on! I must press on to finishing the semester hard.

Therefore as I put all my energy to finish the last leg of this season I pray that God would give me motivation, focus, and energy. I pray that God would allow this month off from school to be a productive, spiritually healthy, serving, and loving month. I want to get this stuff done, with no regrets, putting my full effort into the things I need to accomplish. It is so hard to find motivation, strength, and energy when you do not live in a dorm of 90 guys who are trying to mature in Christ.

However, I did know that the habits I would have in college would carry into my future. I carry a very strong spiritual discipline of getting up early in the morning and spending time with God. I do not want to lose that, and it has been rarely seen since I've lived in this new city.

I look forward to a break from school. I hope I can relinquish that spiritual discipline to the great purpose it had in my life.