A Rape of Codependency

Isaiah 61:1, "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound."

For many out there, Codependency is not just a struggle but a terrible virus which has paralyzed their life. Codependency is defined as, "a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected by a pathological condition."

Like I said codependency is to some like a virus. It can easily provoke some of the most dangerous situations that one has encoutered. So where is God in the mess of all this?

Isaiah 61 starts off by saying "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me." We have to realize that as much as God designed the human person. He will always be our sole leader. He is the bearer of all truth. he holds justice in his hand like a gold scepter, tall, bulky, and heavy. The ability that God has in our lives is the ability to break away from destructive relationships. The truth is whether you've struggled with codependency or not is that there will always be people you bumped into who have their own issues. Therefore I think it is time to look at how Scriptures manifest some basic principles to allow healthy growing relationships blossom and negative unproductive relationships be extinguished (or avoided).

The rest of Isaiah 61 writes, "Because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has set me to bind up the brokenhearted to proclaim liberty to the captives."

God does not want his people hurting; however, he has given us a hope. Within the design of humanity we were given rationality, cognition, a brain. In our lives we must drive it by logic. For man to prosper he must keep to what is good for him. Many times codependent people struggle because they use potentiality to allow them to maintain unhealthy relationships to continue. However, the anointing of God has been given to man to not allow bad things to happen including intoxicating relationships. Practically speaking if there is even a  small voice saying, "This feels wrong!" or "this is not right? Something has gone awfully wrong." This is probably a time to seek truth. However, people forget to switch gears. They are driving their lives through emotions (i.e. potentiality) which is the perfect opportunity to be taken by someone who will abuse their poor decision-making, their natural ability to keep giving, and the codependent's unattainable gift for seeing the good in people. But to allow cognition to become the driver, a statement like this allows the transition to be simple... "Is this person being a light to your life or are they pulling darkness into your life?"

The decision now feels like time has frozen and you feel stuck but we have to realize that for us to find satisfaction we must only keep the people who add to our life not subtract. Therefore to be able to move forward into more long-lasting joy it means driving our lives with intellect in the drivers seat and our emotions in the passenger seat. This process in itself is a life-long learning process. As your journey through life we start seeing the signs a lot quicker and easier in making those hard decisions. But we start now, and over time, those decisions turn into a beautiful array of health, happiness, and an intimate relationship with Jesus. Allow His Truth to show you insight into what persons should be in the depth of your heart. Do not be afraid to say no! Jesus loves you, and you deserve a life of joy!

Screwed Up and Loved

Luke 12:22b "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life."

- It's annoying to give God back the day. Annoying eh? What does that mean?

- I think the danger of living in this human body is we wake up and immediately we are starting the day conquering tasks and before we know it we are trying to conquer the world.

But Jesus tells us clearly DO NOT BE ANXIOUS ABOUT YOUR LIFE!

For me my anxiety is drawn by the fact that I am in a job concerned about whether I will have productivity. It is frustrating that I have already started my day in a position of control. Learning to be able to accept humility, and give me control to God is extremely rewarding.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."

"Whoever," what a strong and powerful word. A word that has no restriction. A word which engulfs every living human being. A word that describes unconditional when it includes whenever.

Jesus still loves us even after the fact we do take control into our own hands. The beauty of Jesus is allowing mistakes, sin, screw-ups, but even more amazing is his ability to walk with us through it.

A Prayer to the Sower

Mark 4:3, "Listen! A sower went out to sow"

Mark 4:8-9, "And other seed fell onto good soil and produce grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thrity-fold and sixty fold and a hundred fold. And he said, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."

Wow! I did not expect to survive yesterday emotional despair, let alone return to a joyful attitude to sit in front of the father again.

I do still feel the tension inside my face. I mean it could just be sinuses or the fact I am still holding back some anger.  

But after reading Mark 4 about the sower I realized a few different things.

1. You have to have a heart ready to listen to get to a place to be okay with celibacy.
2. That you do reap what you sow. I want to sow healthy choices so that I can reap great harvests of great relationships.
3. That it can be a season of struggle but there are seasons where the heart listens.

Lord,
Soften my heart
Help me find peace
Help me awaken a patient spirit
Help me trust you more and more each day,
Love your Son,
Aaron

A Penis in God's Hand

Matt 24:36-37

            “But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only. For as were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of man.”

            Yes! I have a penis! Yes! When the tiny chromosomes in my mom’s womb collaborated with my dad’s sperm together, its genetic creativity provided with a piece of anatomy that I will never be ungrateful for. I don’t want to get ridiculously graphical because it can easily lead down roads unprofitable both for the writer and the reader but the reality is each human will bear either a penis or a vagina.

            Within the last decade or so sexuality has broadened its wingspan that it is impossible to not interact without sex becoming a part of a conversation. Whether its kids, love making, going to use a restroom, or even the typical getting contraception or women’s products. Sexuality has become the meat and potatoes of frequent conversations. Therefore as a young man aware of his sexuality, and a culture who’s daily interaction revolves around sex. What does one do or not do?

            For years many have said “Now remember use the right head to act on?” Some may be perplex by these comments, others repulse, or some simply snickering at the sexually implicit gesture. It is vital that a man chasing after Jesus learns this pretty soon, otherwise this decision-making truth could be the sinking-sand of his faith.

            But how does one learn this profound common sense gesture? A-hah! This is the crux of this letter. I know that Matt 24:36-37 is talking about the end of the world but I think you can also find more truth in it.

            The timing of God is very different then our own timing. And within that timing not only includes when Christ shall return, but for a single man, it means trusting God with my (or his and her) sexuality. It would be ignorant to think I am the only single guy who wakes up every morning with a boner and desires to go mate with the next object that has a pulse. The reality is if God has the end of the world figured out. The least I can do is learn to trust God with the sexual libido he has given me.

            I don’t want to finish so abruptly. I want to add just a couple things. First, trust is an emotional intentional action. I have to daily go to God, and say, “God I need you. I have sexual needs, but your sovereignty and love for you goes higher than what I believe I need to do.” But secondly, trust is a cognitive process of realizing that God has also provided us tools to learn how to trust him. For example, using our time wisely going and doing something productive and living in community. It can be easy to drive life through emotions and get into emotional car accidents. But allowing God to use your mind to steward your body, especially sexually can allow God to give you the wisdom to know how to take care of your body without losing righteousness.

A Deep Dark Secret

Job 5:19 “He will deliver you from six troubles in seven no evil shall touch you.”

Psalm 67

            “May God be gracious to us and bless us, and make his face to shine upon us, that your way be known on earth, your saving power among all nations. Let the people praise you, O God; let all people praise you! Let the nations be glad and sing for joy for you judge the people with equity and guide the nations upon earth. Let the nations be glad and sing for joy for you judge the people with equity and guide the nations upon earth. Let the people praise you, O God; let all the people praise you! The earth has yielded it increase; God, our God, shall bless us. God shall bless us; let all the ends of the earth fear him.”

Today is different. I like today because I sit hear interacting with the creator and his word. I am naked to his eyes because he is not blinded by any of man’s tricks. He is aware of all.

Within my heart I hold a very dark secret. A secret that for some can easily sense, but others are completely unaware. I am uncomfortable in my own skin. The secret runs deeper than just casual irritability. My discomfort drives me to desire a different city. A city this secret entails is a city that captures the eyes by its tall buildings, it people who have no time for frivolous conversations. It is a city that waits for nobody. It is a city full of flair, upbeat, and is lost!

Lost – what is lost?

Lost is a word which describes that one, one being a noun, this one has become unintentionally maybe intentionally fallen off the beaten track.  It’s capability to know Jesus is intangible. How can a lost city know Jesus in a more intimate level when so many have never been on the trail let alone aware of the trail.

Chicago has stolen my love and I do not know what to do. I care for the city genuinely. I even can look back, and see it in my mom’s eyes, how a part of her still lies in the city.

For a moment, I unveil my secret, but after this moment its gone. Will I find peace? Will God allow me the strength to live in such a city which is such a chaotic mess, even though I am a mess? Or will I live a life so far from a place that has captured my attention in the depth of my heart, where secrets are kept alive? 

To Look Forwards, Backwards, and Sideways

Pocahontas reflects and says, "He wants me to be steady. Like the River... But its not steady at all"

"What I love most about rivers is:
You can't step in the same river twice
The water's always changing, always flowing
But people, I guess, can't live like that
We all must pay a price
To be safe, we lose our chance of ever knowing
What's around the riverbend
Waiting just around the riverbend"

This next year, 2013 for me is full of amazing opportunities, and I am stoked to travel on that pathway of growth, change, success, and new adventures. I am excited to accomplish goals that are bigger then me. I look forward to what new doors will lead to. 

I have been spend some serious time reflecting on how my life experiences have got me to where I am. This reflection has help me realize some of the poor responses, and some of the great responses. I have come to the awareness that within my childhood there are many horrible traumatic experiences that lead me to believe certain lies. Within those lies I allow them to control some of my decision-making process.

- How do I reflect on allowing life to be times where it is rough, but adventurous? 
- How do I find peace in boring times of life?
- Where does fun fit in organization?

- How do I move forward without repeating the same bad patterns?
- How do I continue to embrace the new opportunities infront of me without embracing opportunities that might be unsatisfying
- What does it look like to conclude my academic career at this point in my life with peace?
- What does it look like to have goals now in this season, and long-term goals?

Messy Morning Routines...

My thoughts can come across really jumbled up. Therefore I am going to take sometime to sort through them.

First, It is true! I have made it to the end of another semester in grad school. Wowzers! Totally amazed, by God's strength, and encouragement through this semester.

Second, this has made me think, as the finish line of graduate school becomes more visible, how can I continue to work on weak areas in my life, like organization, and morning routines.

Today is Monday, and a brand new day. This morning I heard this song, and it made me really get so stoked, and the introduction reads,

"I wanna sing of Your love

Wanna sing of Your mercy

I wanna tell the whole world

Of the greatness of You"

I believe this is a wonderful place to start, with a heart exposing the love of God. Also, reconnecting with God will pull me forward into introducing what structure look like. God is sovereign, and is a person who has no anxiety over what tomorrow looks like. I want to be like him, fulfilling my life with peace. Today, I am drawn to the idea of finding a morning routine. For many, this is a way to introduce structure into the day. Maybe I will find structure? Maybe I will find a routine, but ultimately I want to find peace, and success!

I ponder over a website (http://lifehacker.com/5537478/top-10-ways-to-upgrade-your-morning-routine) about morning routines, and it challenged the reader, to try a routine, and then kind of edit to how a person naturally handles it.

So, I thought, hmmm. Let's see.

1. Laundry

2. Dishes

3. Paperwork/Mail Organization

4. Spiritual Time

5. Breakfast

6. Cardio

7. Shower

I wonder how this will look through the next following days. But I am inviting structure. Lets hope it will remove some of the anxiety that comes from living a messy life.